Faking It
Sometimes my best friend can be a real pain in the–well, let’s just say part of the anatomy way south of the neck. You see, she thinks my crush on this guy we both know is really funny. I know she’ll tease me when I tell her why I wanted to talk to her.
I’d arranged to meet her last night at this wine bar we both like. I thought she could help me because she’d taught me everything I know about wine. She’s a wine sales specialist with an upscale supermarket as one of her clients so she knows what she’s talking about when it comes to wine. How to taste it, how to smell it, how to choose a good one.
When we first met, I picked wine according to whether or not the label was artistic and pretty. I always ended up with pretty labels and bad wine.
As soon as our glasses of Chianti were served, I opened my mouth to tell her what was wrong. But nothing came out. We’d always discussed men we liked and wanted to date, but this time was different. I really liked this guy, and I just knew she’d think this was funny.
“Come on. Tell me everything,” she demanded.
“Okay. I’ve been thinking about something, but I don’t quite know whether to do it or not.”
“Do what?”
“I thought I’d see if you could help.”
“Help how?”
“But I don’t want you to laugh–.”
“For heaven’s sake, would you just ask me?”
In a rush, I said, “I want to go to an oil tasting with Brian, but I’m supposed to be some kind of olive oil expert, but I don’t know how to taste oil. At least not the way they do it at a formal oil tasting. I think I could treat it like a wine tasting and get away with it. But I feel uncomfortable doing that. So I thought since your dad has an Italian restaurant, and he knows everything that maybe you knew the proper way to do it too. I don’t want to just fake it.”
Her laughter made everyone turn and stare.
“Would you stop laughing.” I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my wine. I guess my onrush of explanation was funny.
“Sorry.” She smothered a giggle. “Look, if you do it like a wine tasting, I’m sure no one would be the wiser. You’re right about Dad. He’s the real expert. I’ll tell you what I learned from him.”
“Great.” I was right. She did know something about it.
“Wine and olive oil have a lot in common. In fact, grapes and olives are both drupes so they have more in common than most people realize. They both depend on plant variety for the resulting characteristics of the liquid–whether wine or oil. In both, you look for aroma, color, body, and taste.”
She told me they would pour oil in snifters and to stick my nose in to inhale, like with wine. Just sniffing a little shot glass of olive oil isn’t good enough.
“Analyze the same characteristics you look for in wine,” she said. “The underlying smells and tastes. Different regions will produce the same variety but perhaps with a subtle difference.”
Then she explained how to hold the glass in my hands to heat the oil and how to cup my hand over the glass to capture all the smell as I inhaled.
“Close your eyes and try to distinguish the smell, separating it into essences. Maybe, associate the smell with something in nature like the smell of fresh picked tomatoes.”
I’ll confess. I did think I was something of an expert about olive oil, but listening to her was an education. “Wine is easier,” I grumbled.
“True. Tasting olive oil is more difficult because the sensory sensations are more subtle. Next time, smile and try touching the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth. This lets the oil pool on each side. Then inhale strongly and swallow.”
“Oh, no. I saw that girl on the Food Network do that, and she had a major coughing spell.”
“Then she did it right. She got the cough.”
“The cough?”
“Olive oil is healthy because of polyphenol, but phenol has astringent qualities. It also has aglycons which are pungent so when you inhale and swallow it, it irritates the back of your throat so you cough.”
“That’s a good thing?”
She lifted her wine glass in salute. “The cough is a sign you did it right.”
Whew! That made me feel better. Maybe I can go out with this guy I want to impress and have a great time coughing my head off. And I won’t have to fake it.
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[…] like a connoisseur if I had just talked to Lucia before I went on my trip. She recently learned how to taste olive oil from one of her […]
Question:
What would cause olive oil to separate and become cloudy at the bottom and clear at the top of the bottle?
Please answer.
Thank you.
Santina
[…] afternoon in the kitchen was the most fun I’ve had since I last went to an olive oil tasting with my friend […]